Sharing things with others is fun, but have you ever learned to enjoy something on your own!?

We’re in the business of matchmaking, so of course, we’re excited for you to find love here with Chekmate so you can have shared experiences. But the journey to finding your perfect match is going to involve a bit of alone time. How you fly solo, especially on Valentine’s Day, can make a world of difference in how you show up to your next relationship.

In the second part of our 2021 Guide to Being Single on Valentine’s Day, we’re going beneath the surface for those who want to take the potentially uncomfortable emotions that come up on V-day and turn them into a time for personal growth and self-love.

Soul Searching
Let’s go deep for a minute. Some of you don’t know why you’re single. You’re a looker, educated, the wittiest one in the room, but here you are–another Valentine’s Day eating Russel Stovers discounted mixed chocolates and acting confused.

Try spending sometime today asking yourself some hard questions and answering them with brutal honesty. The result? You can get a clearer picture of your dating and relationship habits, understand fully why you’re single, and be able to identify what you’re looking for and why.

Pop open a tab and write out your answer to the following questions. Review them every now and then to see if anything changes about who you are or what you need from a partner.

How do I contribute to a relationship?

Understanding and embracing exactly what you bring to the table is critical to dating at your level. Knowing your worth is the #1 way to get the relationship of your dreams. One with mutual respect, boundaries, growth, and unconditional love.

What are my non-negotiables?

Ever get stuck in a “situationship” wondering how a decade of dating landed you there? Chances are you let a bunch of red flags slip by. Predetermine some non-negotiables so you know exactly when to walk away without hesitation.

A few other questions to think about while single and ready to mingle are–

How will I know when I meet someone compatible with me? What are they like?
How do I want to be treated?
What have my previous dating and relationship patterns taught me about myself?

Do For Someone Else
Can’t stand the idea of spending a day in your feelings? Reach out to someone or send something unannounced. Is there someone you know who may be having a particularly challenging Valentine’s Day? All it takes is sending someone a sweet text, email, phone call, or flower delivery to let them know they’re on your mind.

Shoot Your Shot

Could you be single because you don’t take risks? Stuck in the talking phase? Wondering where those late-night convos are going? There isn’t a better time to shoot your shot. There is likely a short queue of people in your life waiting to exit the friend-zone.

Whether it’s taking things to the next level or reaching out to your secret crush, embrace the Valentine’s vibe and put your heart on the line.

Love is Love
With or without a partner you are full of love. This year is a great time to source that love for yourself instead of looking for confirmation or valentine validation from outside of yourself.
Take the love you wish you could be giving or receive from a man or woman and give it to yourself, your friends, or your family.

Valentine’s Day is about love, not couples, and can be felt and shared without extravagant bouquets and heart-shaped candy.