Featured Blogger: Amina O.
Ah, the infamous “talking” phase. That weird in-between stage where you haven’t spent much time in person but continue to grow closer through text, call, video, and the occasional hangout. But, you’re not quite dating yet.
In another time, the talking phase was referred to as courting.
But what happens when the talking phase seems to drag on with no forward motion? If you’re interested in chatting with purpose, here are a few ways to graduate out of the talking phase and into one more substantial.
Establish What You’re Looking For
The talking stage can last months and even years if you don’t establish what you’re looking for. Being open and finding someone willing to be as honest as you are is the key to having your needs met.
“I want to make this official”
“Are we dating?”
“Can we be exclusive”
These are great ways to start the conversation. Ultimately, you’re letting someone know that you have seen enough and experienced them enough to know that you want more. If they aren’t on the same page, you will have saved your time and emotions. Naturally, you could continue to wait it out or move on to someone looking for the same level of commitment as you.
If you don’t prefer to wait until you’re getting to know someone, there is nothing wrong with sharing your intentions right away. Are you looking for a travel buddy, cuddle buddy, a relationship, marriage? Hey, doesn’t hurt to make it known right off the bat.
Ditch Small Talk
If you want more you have to give more. That means deeper conversations, meaningful dates, and recognizing whether you and your crush are compatible on a more meaningful level.
The last thing you want to do is rush out of the talking stage and into a relationship without really knowing who they are or if this is what you actually want.
Seek a compatible partner, not a relationship.
Ask the real questions, offer in-depth answers, when it’s right–the next phase of your courting experience will come easier than you think. Find out what their life goals are, what they believe in, political perspectives, and whether or not they want children. Before you ask for their hand in dating, learn as much as possible.
Make The First Move
A lot of us get stuck in the talking phase because we want the other person to take the initiative. This is an ineffective and unfulfilling way to achieve anything in a relationship. Put on your big girl or big boy pants and go for what you want. Chances are, they’re waiting for you to.